Folksy Friday- Make me laugh!

It's been a while since my last Folksy Friday. You know, the post where you guys are supposed to find handmade items you really love and, eventually, get your pay pal ready to buy them.
The whole idea of Folksy Friday is to pick items you'd totally buy yourself, there is no marketing behind it, no money, no syndicate.
Just a little community thing to spread the love- and the Folksy Handmade Idea. Why buy High street when you can have something lovingly handmade for pretty much the same money?
This week, I want to share items that make me happy just by looking at them. They make me laugh, grin, chuckle, ROFL and smile. They inspire me and make me feel... good. Yeah, that's it. I vow to play the lottery from now on so I can buy each and every wonderful item that tickles my fancy- here's to all the wonderful artisans that put all the effort, time and love into their work to give us something truly amazing- a smile.

What makes you smile? Outwardly or inwardly. What gives you this "on top of the world" feeling?
For me, the cats usually do it. And if they fail, there's always The Man! LOL I smile when I see a wee birdie having breakfast on a quiet morning or when my idiotic kitten falls off the telly. When I wake up to sunshine and when a new customer tries to open the door the wrong way round.
There's loads of smiles to be had, it's just the case that sometimes they need to be hunted down.

Ready to grin?

Remember- a click on the image takes you straight to the shop.

And now- gimme a SMILE!!

Love you loads,
Steff

Happy Resolutions Day!

Since there are so many New Years throughout the world, I am at a loss as to wether I shall wish you all a happy new one. Technically, for me and many others this is the first day of 2011, which is kind of scary.
I still remember the first day of 2000 (in Glasgow...boy, did we see loads of still- smoldering car ruins! (and a fair number of human equivalents) We loved every second.

2010 was memorable in many ways for us- unfortunately, largely for all the wrong reasons. Hang on... maybe one remembers stuff... largely wrong. I was about to say "financial straits, dissatisfaction with the job, getting robbed at home and at work, this, that and the other". What a silly way to round things up.

It' s a lot more healthy to look back on the really good stuff that happened.
For one thing, I started this blog, thanks to Mad Mich L. What a wonderful person to come into my (pixel-) life!
She got me started on a journey that restored my faith in mankind after life thoroughly wrecked it. And she gave me reason and excuse to come up with stuff I never thought I would createincluding jewellery, bats, ghosts and sugary xmas decorations.

Also, I found my way to Folksy, a wonderful "british" alternative to Etsy and populated by the most lovely, talented and inspiring people you could imagine. I am still overwhelmed at how nice and friendly everbody was and is towards me, even though since the robbery, I have mostly been quiet in the community. If, as a local artisan, you need support and encouragement, go folksy yourself. You will be amazed.

The Man has been a real pleasure to be around most of the time, and I'd be sincerely surprised if he could say as much about me. We are pretty much two sides of the same coin- where he is tolerant, I am judgmental. Where he is patient, I am fiery. Where he is lenient, I want heads to roll. Where he gets disappointed, though, I am not surprised, and where he gets burned, I wear the asbestos underwear. In many ways, he should be writing this blog, because he could be the genetical experiment where Jim Carrey, Billy Connolly, John Belushi, Martha Stewart, Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey and Woody Allen each donate a toenail and the result gets to wear nappies. I, on the other hand, am called Scrooge on good days and make children check the dark areas of their bedrooms on average ones.

Another good thing... and I mean, a real good thing, has been my Mum. She calls me Loewenbaby (german for lion cub), because we are both star sign leo and (even though none of us actually believes in astrology) bloody typical of what 99 p magazines say we are like.
She is fiercely protective over her (can you believe it?) 32 year old cub and like a crown jewel. No, scrap that. She is THE jewel. The version of myself I always knew I could be if I only was more understanding, more protective, more patient, more thoughtful, more ... her. Dammit, when I was 13 or 14 and dating my first boyfriend,  I passed her off as my older sister and went to meet the lad with her in tow, only to take the mickey out of him with her over a big, fat bowl of ice cream afterwards. What a blast!

Looking around me, I see a stuffed Bob the Builder toy about the size of an average 3 year old. On top of my bookshelf there is a Bob the Builder play- o- rama (couldn't find the battery slot to disable the darn thing, so I hid it when Aaron went to the loo), and half the house is covered in glittery plastic stars I threw over the kids a few days ago when the wee man complained he couldn't see any stars in the sky. We afterwards stuck them to the windows with spit. You don't want to get the glue out when there's minions about. You just don't. And there's nothing wrong with spit in small doses.

I also see a room with no carpet and mustard coloured floor boards (ever had four cats puke on the same spot of your cheap landlord- provided carpet?), a sleeping Man, no cat, half a smoked cigarette at the fireplace (the only place we smoke in the house- we blow the smoke right up the chimney and you can't smell there's stupid, idiotic, suicidal, money- burning smokers in the house at all!), a box of Country Manor wine (an acquired, but quite refreshing taste), endless books about serial killers, a wonderful knock- off victorian birdcage with Twit and Twoo plus nest in it (stay tuned for pictures, they defy common good taste, but are totally US!), a silk scarf- turned main deco made by Mum and a load of stuff that once we are dead, people won't even donate to the charity shop, but means loads to us.


Not quite your average stylish mansion you would love to live in and be able to decorate and re- decorate endlessly. Not even your average family home. But in the last 12 months or so, it has turned into our den, our refuge, our, dare I say, home, cat p!ss on the door mat and all. We might turn on the light in our bathroom by pulling a string with a stuffed monkey soft toy dangling from it (and we can't even blame the kids) , and we might have grave candles from Slovenia in our garden, right next to a fat Buddha. Our spiders might be hard enough to knock the neighbour's spiders lights out, and I might feed the rats in our garden on the odd occasion, but that's it- the Three Bed Semi and what it was like to live in it in 2010.

Sure you wanna stick around for 2011?



Let me put you off. (the casual use of pictures NOT taken in 2010 is non- intentional and a delusion instilled into your brain by the government of Micronesia)

Happy Resolutions Day, everybody, I shall be posting crafts again very soon as all this reflective time of year is finally over. I always hate myself in hindsight and mirrors, both make me look fat!

x

No crafts today..

No crafts today, my heart just melts away

The children stand for joy, a symbol of the day

No crafts today, it seems a common sight

But people passing by don't know the reason why

Unlike what I think some families do, we don't take family pictures to use as Xmas cards.

It's not that we are not family. In a modern sense, we are.

It's not like we don't look good in pictures-

in a LOLcat way we do.

It's not even like we don't do Xmas- darn right we do.

There were crafts I could show you, but beautiful people like Saraccino rounded

them up a helluva lot better and more original than I could. Hop over and give the girl

some love- in a very tentacled way, she is incredibly talented, humorous and incredibly

big- hearted. One of my favourite blogs ever. This wonderful lady happens to be 

a fellow German, but I can't say I was ever lucky enough to encounter somebody as,

and I mean it in the BEST way possible, odd as her in Germany EVER. If I had,

maybe I wouldn't have felt the need to leg it!

Right, I was talking about Xmas cards.

I might not have told you, but the minions are staying with us for a full week.

For those of you who have their own minions, this might not quite be the biggest deal

ever, but for somebody like me who has successfully avoided reproduction, it darn well is. 

A full week trying not to swear, getting up early (well... The Man does. I just switch to Deaf Old Witch Mode 

and steal another hour!) and hiding your alcohol intake that seems to be getting

out of hand around the holiday period. Hic. (please don't take this one literally,

we DO drink responsibly and share with them! LOL)

We got them early Monday morning, and, boy, days seem to drag when the weather is

so frigging bleak that you can't take them to the playground and the bank holidays

don't really allow you to go into town and drag them through random museums to make

everybody elses life misery. 

What we have learned so far is that a Transformer toy is not only impossible to

transform, it also breaks easily in Daddys hands. It was called Bumblebee, now it is

called "The Plastic Thing That Drowned In The Bath Never To Be Mentioned Again".

We have also learned that it is quite cool to take a very grown- up 8 year old girl

and a "third child syndrome" 4 year old munchkin boy round the shops to buy really

big heaps of chinese plastic for about 45% of the price that was charged like... 

a minute ago. Did you know that cr@p provides about ten minutes of fun, while 

watching Daddy trying to get all the packaging off entertains for a full afternoon?

We have tried to make Xmas last for as long as possible. Yesterday, we did aforementioned 

trip, while today, we just spread out silly little gifts like pound shop

cutlery with engraved dinosaur footprints (for him, the princess got love hearts)

to dig into their astronaut feasts (chicken with broccoli and cheese sauce, but

in really fancy dishes, they nearly busted their bellies!) and stupid Xmas

crackers with paper crowns and stickers in them. 

Tomorrow morning, a 99p stuffed toy is awaiting the wee man Aaron(he has a thing with monsters. 

One minute he's scared, the next he luuuurves them), looking like a pink zombie.

The princess will be presented with an equally expensive necklace with a love 

heart pendant.  They went to bed tonight knowing there'd be something to wake up to.

If I had to price absolutely everything up, including the big heap of

chinese- made scrap plastic they both got as their main presents, I'd say we spent

about £20 on each kiddo so far. Keep in mind that is 2 days of being showered with

surprises like a toy car for being a good boy and a little lockable diary for

helping carrying the shopping without even being asked for the princess. (a hands-

on princess like Shreks Fiona, never mind Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella! My Abigail will 

knock the Prince straight off his horse and nick his ride until further notice,

thankyouverymuch)

So, now that you know how absolutly adorable we all are, I don't mind showing you the TRUTH.

The ugly, absolute, undeniable truth.

Let me please show you what would have been our Xmas cards if we did them. And understand

why we don't do them. Ever.

Heiligabend means Christmas Eve!

Guys,

according to Wikipedia, this is the German tradition of Christmas Eve. Check it out.


In some families the whole family comes together; in others December 24 is celebrated only by the close family, whereas the larger family (grandparents, uncles & aunts, etc.) will visit on the first or second Day of Christmas (December 25 and 26 respectively).
Before the Bescherung (gift giving) begins, many Germans go to church. Christmas masses/services often last around one hour. Families with children go to a children's mass which is usually shorter and dramatised with a Krippenspiel, which is a nativity play.
While everyone else is at church, one of the adults prepares the Christmas tree and turns on electric lights or lights decorative candles, and puts on festive Christmas music and places the gifts under the tree.
When the family comes back from the church, the living room is locked. The children must wait to enter into the prepared room until a little bell rings. This bell marks the departure of the Christ Child (Christkind) who, according to tradition, brings the presents (instead of Saint Nicholas or Santa Claus). Revealing the decorated Weihnachtsbaum (Christmas tree) with all the presents is a big surprise. For the Bescherung, the only light comes from the Christmas tree lights (in the past real candles, today electric lights rather than candles).
Many families will sing traditional Christmas carols or play music on flutes and/or guitars around the tree before opening the gifts.
The gifts lie under the tree, wrapped in colorful paper, and the children unwrap them before the big Christmas feast. Adults may also share gifts while the children are opening theirs. Many families also prepare decorated paper bags or carton plates (Weihnachtsteller) for each of the children and adults. These are full of treats and are often in the shape of angels or Santa Claus, who is called Weihnachtsmann in German.

All of this, to the letter, applies to the Christmas Eves of my childhood. I never enjoyed the church bit (hey, c'mon, what child does?), but the little silvery sound of the bell, the smell of the tree (remember- I am conservative, its gotta be the real thing... or it did have to be...), the soft glow of the lights in the tinsel (red one year, purple the next) and even the flute, played enthusiastically by yours truly, were cherished.

I used to get two Bescherungen, one with my grandparents who technically raised me and one with my Mum and her partner who lived two flights of stairs above us in the same house. My Mum always had "the same tree"... the tree itself, of course, changed from year to year, but the decorations never did. To this day, they did not.
She, in fact, is the only person I know who still uses real candles in her tree. She might only light them on the actual Christmas Eve and substitute them with electrical lights for the rest of the season, but there are CANDLES in her tree. I remember the smell of real bees wax like I had only experienced it 5 minutes ago.
Her tree was and is a feast for my sore, tired eyes. It has been years since I last saw it, but please spare a minute to admire MUMS CHRISTMAS TREE 2009.

All the gifts are arranged around it, and on the wall you see my silly face under a silly hat overlooking the scene.
Her apartment is tiny, and the tree is always quite big. I know that green sucker reminds her of years gone by just as much as any Christmas tree reminds me of her.

Guys,
I don't really care if you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Yule, Ashura or Diwali... nothing, all of the above or something entirely different... I would love for you to use 5 minutes today to sit back and gather your favourite memories. Sit back and unwrap them like a really expensive piece of chocolate. If you are on a diet, unfold them like the first love letter you ever received, carefully as to not tear the slightly age- worn paper.
Look at what is right in front of you, and then read between th lights. Remember smells, sounds, colours, whatever makes those memories special for you.
When your 5 minutes are up, pick up the phone, grab a pen or open your mail program. Get in touch with somebody nice. Mom, niece, Granddad, the wicked witch of the east, somebody who unexpectedly dropped you a line or two, your divorce lawyer, your vet... it doesn't matter.

I have come to the conclusion that all this holiday stuff really is about the fuzzy feeling inside. And I don't mean the eggnog. Go and share it, it has a tendency to grow. Bugger, eh?

Thanks for following me on my little adventure as far as you did. I hope you will keep traipsing along with me as you guys give me almost as fuzzy, warm and, well, LOVED a feeling as my favourite Christmas memories do. Your support has been amazing, and I love and appreciate each and one of you strange people who keep stopping by for inexplicable reasons to work their way through my ramblings.

Happy Holidays, everybody- Frohe Weihnachten!

How are thy leaves so... foily?

This little house of ours is not meant to be adorned with a Christmas tree. 4 unruly cats and 2 typical kids (who will visit during the holidays!) simply don't allow for a proper tree, which even I had to admit. I am normally really conservative when it comes to a needly friend during Xmas, it's eitherthe real thing or nothing. Period.

Look what the man adopted yesterday.

It is not much taller than a pint, incredibly despicable and made from some sort of foily fiber things. Things. When I came home to it, it wasn't even shaped, and I could not stop laughing for 15 minutes solid. The ugliest piece of third world child labourers impression of a Christmas tree you could imagine! (or at least I suspect child labour for the price of £2.29, reduced from £8!) I instantly fell in love with it.
I always wanted the teddy with the dodgy eye or missing ear as a child, and I always wanted the tree that nobody else wanted for Christmas. Softie, eh? So this awful little fellow made from stuff that probably ends up as bin bags 11 out of 12 months a year stole my heart.

The Man said it was my challenge to make something pretty out of it, so I started immediately.
A pathetic little popcorn chain was made, and the little fellow got a hat and scarf so as not to freeze. Skinny thing MUST be cold, don't you think?

Then I remembered a wonderful post I read not too long ago on Polish The Stars about frosting candle holders with Epsom Salt. How freaking clever is that?
Well, I have no Epsom Salt. So what else sparkles? Yeah, man! Sugar! (at this point I think The Man kinda lost his last bit of trust in me and decided to go with the "Yes, Dear" routine. Bless him, he has suffered a lot.)

Here's what happened:

Get some reasonably sturdy clear plastic and cut your desired shape. Get your sugar and mod podge (or, for savvy folks, cheapo PVA glue) ready.

Attach thread (or pretty wire) to your stars. Watch  your hands, people. Don't ask, okay? (...)

Dry the little beauties together with slices of lemon you happen to have sitting on the radiator, too, for another project:

Start over with the other side, dry again and display:

I am dead chuffed with how these fellas turned out! And I shall do more stuff for that little ugly tree. The plan is to buy nothing new and just use stuff I have 'round the house anyway, so let's see how it goes. I think The Man likes it, too- he sweetly commented how crafting away put a genuine smile on my face and didn't even attempt to strangle me after another giggle- attack while inspecting the tree late at night. Never laughed so much in my life!!

All in all, minus the time it took the stars to dry, the whole session didn't chew up more than half an hour and it is literally a sweet little craft you can fit into even the busiest schedule!

Get frosting, guys, you know it makes sense.

See you soon with further tree- hugging!

 

Bad blogger, busy bee!

Okay... so I have not blogged. Again. As odd as it is, I actually feel bad about it because I had the opportunity (we are still sharing a pc, but the Man is quite generous!), but rather spent my time creating things.

If it counts in the way of an apology, my working pattern is quite erratic, and when I actually DO get quality time, I have recently found it quite relaxing to craft rather than stare at a screen for longer than necessary. I have also found that when I can't fall asleep at all, it helps to mentally go through a future craft project, smooth out edges, solve little problems like, oh, I don't know... what fabric? Where to get a wreath?... and just get lost in it till sleep finally comes. Who would have thought that crafting would turn into my happy place?

Anyway, I want top show you what I have been doing while not staying in touch with you all, something I do miss. Pixels are one thing, but the people behind them... hey, the insurance might yet cough up and I get my laptop back so I can just drop a line or two whenever I fancy rather than making a session out of it and chasing the Man away from his machine :D

Right... are you guys ready for a shameless display of "what Steff did this Xmas"?

For my colleagues, I came up with a daft little Nikolaus treat. The lad got a pair of normal, well, guy socks, the girls all got fluffy socks. Each sock was filled with the second sock, xmas confetti, sweets and a little gift. Oh, the husband of my beloved colleague Barbara got his own treat, too. Can't help it, I love that chap.

This is what happened:

 Not very detailed, but you get the picture.

I also did some Xmas decoration, on a very small scale and potentially embarrassing, but that's in the eye of the beer holder, right? Please be lenient, this is my first crafty xmas and my very first xmas where kids get to judge my effort... I couldn't be more freaked.

I started with a tweaked version of something I saw on Everyday Mom Ideas
A guest post from Robyn, check it out here.

The trees are made out of a German Heave Metal Magazine, a dish towel, a sweater and coloured pencils. Oh, and loads of hot glue.
The wee stars are felt and beads. Everything else is just the everyday atrocities one encounters around the three bed semi.

I love that chain of lights that pretends to be a chain of snowballs. Three bulbs need replacing and I am frantically searching for a pack of snowball xmas light chain replacement bulbs- when, please, did I stop being cool? Ironically, while typing this, the whole thing blacked out. Not fair.

I shall tell you about my primitive (in a good sense) wreath soon, I am tired of things (including the pc, it's done it three times now while typing this post) blacking out.

Hopefully the minions (geez, Sunny over at Life in Rehab
has a lot to explain!) like it, as they are the only reasons I'm feeling all xmassy in the first place.
Amazing what a pair of small- scale hooligans can do!

Guys, I hope the preparation for Xmas are not too stressful for y'all and you don't forget to enjoy all the good stuff.

Catch you soon!

OWL tell you a tale!

Not too long ago, my wonderful blog friend Mich held one of her competitions- guess the mystery thing.
She makes a quirky piece of jewellery out of a totally unexpected thing of everyday... things totally taken out of context and makes you guess what the heck it is. Q- tips, automotive vacuum hoses and aquarium plants, to name but a few.
In her endless generosity, she awards a prize not only to the first correct guess, but also to the most crackpoteative guess.
I was lucky enough to be a creative crackpot and win her automotive vacuum hose competition.
Since we had been burgled not too long before that, she promised she'd throw in a little something on top of my prize to put a smile on my face... brace yourselves, peeps, this is what I found in the mail the other day:

Please take some time and look up those pieces on her blog, you will not believe what they are made from!
If you hop over, please leave her some love and let her know if you'd be interested in a tutorial for the beautiful little bracelet she made for my bff Abigail (which I will save for a Nikolaus treat for her, but that's for another post) I, for one, am all for it, because then I can make one my size!!

The necklace, featured on her blog on August 10th, actually inspired the little piece I showed you in my last post, but please head over to see for yourself.

I wear my new bling with pride and am so proud and glad to have such a wonderful friend in La- La- Land! Let me repeat myself here again, what's a couple of stolen items compared to truckloads of love sent my way?

Today, a frozen postie knocked on the door and brought a parcel full of felt. All the colours of the rainbow and then some. This year, most of the Christmas gifts coming from the Three Bed Semi will be handmade, and I had something in mind I wanted to try.

You might know about my slight obsession with owls? Can't help it, I just love them, and one of my dreams is to see one in real life. A short while ago my Mum was lucky enough to encounter one , and I am sure I will one day. Until then, I will have to make do with what is available.
So I decided to make a little stuffed owl brooch for my Mum to always remind her of her Day Of The Owl.
Since my little camera is pretty crappy, so are the pictures, and this is not a tutorial, but I guess all you savvy crafters out there are way ahead of me anyway and have long since passed the stage of owl crafts.

Here's what I did:

I received the book amongst other things today in a big parcel from Mum, but that, as well, is another post as I will just well up with "I miss my Mum" tears again if I go there now. Gotta chew and digest first. Never mind.
So... take an incredibly cute image for inspiration, draw something entirely different and cut the felt to size. (body twice, wing twice, eyes twice or once if shaped like figure 8)
Stitch on eyes with embroidery floss, realize your talent is non- existent and add two seed- beads as pupils. Laugh at self. Add beak.
Stitch two body shapes together inside out, leave bottom open and reverse.
Use old pillow- stuffing to stuff.

Ignore silly questions like "why are you disembowelling that cushion? I am still using that!" and stitch together the bottom.

Add two remotely wing- resembling shapes on the sides, be proud of yourself and laugh some more. Make onlookers feel compelled to congratulate you to your mad skills by reminding them that otherwise they'd fall out of favor (and this is an important step, ladies, make sure you go the extra mile and make everybody feel really guilty about smirking in the first place!!).

Realize you don't have a brooch back and call it a day. Blog it.

Hey... by my standards, this IS a tutorial! It would be better if a few folks actually knew what the heck I'm trying to say, but that's alright, I let you off.

I shall now enjoy a fine glass of wine, regardless of the fact that my owl kinda looks like an (admittedly sort of cute) potato sack and, as Germans say, let God be a good man.

Have a lovely day, love you all!


Disclaimer: The Man wasn't really that cheeky, but I do think he's getting fed up with Twits and Twoos!